Accessories That Make Your Car Look Stupid

March 31, 2022

Sometimes it is just not possible to purchase an expensive sports car or muscle truck, but adding on accessories in a sad attempt to achieve the desired look is about as stupid as it comes. Even older or nerdy vehicles look better when the owner has not drawn further attention to it. Skip the cheesy revolver stick shifter and anything that adheres to the interior. Instead, save up for a better vehicle the next time around to reduce the risk of mastering the “trying too hard” look.

Sticky Carbon Fiber

Nothing good has ever come out of applying a decorative sticker to the interior of any vehicle. They rarely go on smoothly or blend in with the rest of the car. When the owner finally realizes their level of stupidity, they are never able to completely remove the adhesive, which leaves a sticky reminder of the fact that a Caviler will never be as cool as a Corvette. If it was not part of the car’s original design, do not add it.

Headlight Lashes

Ladies, your significant others held a meeting and voted unanimously that car lashes are idiotic. Applying eyelashes to the front lights of a vehicle sends a clear message that the driver is probably a tad on the annoying side, not to mention ditzy. If the owner is female, 'carlashes' are a clear indication you should not date her, cause she probably annoyed her last partner to death with gossip and talk of shoe shopping. No matter how “cute” a vehicle might be, it will always look better without eyelashes.

Seat Covers

Seat covers might seem like a great way to hide a stain or an ugly pattern, but they just make the car look tacky and worse-off than whatever could have happened to it prior. Some people claim to use seat covers to warm up when driving on cold winter days, but if upgrading to heated seats isn't an option, then freeze - just avoid using seat covers at all costs. They never fit right, always look out of place, and are a great place to trap nasty odors and food particles. When it comes to the seat cover, just say no kids.

Fake Hood Scoops

If a car were destined to be a real muscle car, it would have already come with hood scoops. Adding fake scoops will not contribute to the manliness of the vehicle; it will only be the brunt of the joke to authentic muscle machine owners. Do not think for one minute that a fake scoop looks anything like the real thing, sorry.

Car Bras

Car bras seem like a good idea if the vehicle is frequently driven on the highway, but that does not make them look any less stupid to everyone else. Covering a beautiful muscle car with a bra is like neutering it and completely removing its masculinity. Not to mention, bras also scratch the paint and lock in moisture, which is the exact opposite of what a good car parent intends to do. Do not spend the money on a nicely painted vehicle if it is going to be hidden underneath a bra anyways.

Bolt-On Exhaust Tips

Nothing says self-esteem problems like bolt-on exhaust tips! They are designed to be a stylish decorative piece when in reality they are a constant cry for attention. Fake exhaust tips will never fool any half-intelligent car enthusiast; they are odd looking, never sit right on the vehicle, and are a perfect example of someone who is trying way too hard. Do the car a favor and leave these at home.

Interior Add-Ons

Before buying any interior add-ons, such as an Ed Hardy vent pocket, it might be a good idea to determine what kind of lunacy is influencing this decision. If a woman is behind it, ditch her. There is no need for anything designer with skulls on it to be added to the interior of a car. It will not boost the coolness or scary factor, and anyone trying to enhance their “mysterious” image should consider reevaluating.

Fake Fender Vents

Nothing says cheap quite like applying something this unoriginal to a vehicle. Consider this notion the next time there is an urge to add fake fender vents on a car - it is the same thing as playing with stickers, this is not going to enhance the vehicle’s trendy factor. Many people would agree that adding fake fender vents to an older Ford Mustang or a Pontiac Grand Am is not only tacky, but speaks volumes to the fact that the owner is failing at being in high school all over again.

Clip-On Spinners

No, clip-on spinners do not make a mini-van any sexier. In fact, anything that gaudy added to a vehicle is better left in the junkyard. A pricey set of rims can significantly enhance the sex appeal of any car, but clip-on spinners are highly regarded as one of the tackiest things that can ever be added to a vehicle. Even the most uneducated car person knows better than committing this crime so think twice before stooping to this level of foolishness.

Vanity Knob Shifters

No vehicle is as cool as the ones Vin Diesel drove in The Fast and the Furious, but adding an eight ball or revolver to the stick shift makes any car especially uncool. In fact, there is a direct correlation between the amount of money spent on a shifter and its level of dumbness, so even a handcrafted purchase from Etsy will only enhance the desperation factor. In this case, it's best to stick with the original.

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